Who really benefits from the stress of condensing all your affection (along with flowers and chocolates) into a single Wednesday in February?
This year presents an ideal opportunity to forgo Valentine’s Day and instead celebrate a holiday with less pressure. Let’s fully embrace Galentine’s Day.
Emerging from the venerable and mystical sitcom “Parks and Recreation,” the “Galentine’s Day” episode debuted on February 11, 2010. It follows Leslie, portrayed by Amy Poehler, as she traverses a day marked by romantic letdowns—arranging a regrettable date for her mother and confronting her partner’s discourteous conduct. Rejecting the conventional trappings of Valentine’s Day, she pioneers a day dedicated to reveling with her female friends and honoring self-celebration.
For the over one-third of women in the United States who aren’t currently in relationships, or for those who may be partnered but seek a break from constant togetherness, Galentine’s Day offers a welcome alternative. Celebrated on February 13th, Galentine’s Day has evolved from a one-time television reference to a commercially embraced and popular occasion. The tradition often involves gathering with close female friends for brunch, with an emphasis on indulging in ample amounts of alcohol.
Whether you’re spending time with your friends, seeking a moment of solitude in a bustling environment, or enjoying your own company this Valentine’s Day, taking a moment to focus on self-care and show yourself some love is a great idea, especially after navigating through challenging times in recent years.
“Loving yourself stands as the paramount element for fostering a healthy relationship,” emphasized Rachel DeAlto, a dating and relationship expert based in the New York metro area. “Initiate a reflection on those in your life who fail to uplift you. While self-love primarily stems from within, it’s common to allow external influences to impact our confidence and sense of self-worth.”
Although loving oneself may not come naturally, you can initiate the process by envisioning yourself as a separate individual, suggests Lauren Cook, a clinical psychologist, speaker, and author based in Los Angeles.
“Just as you might extend Valentine’s Day gestures to another person—such as giving a heartfelt gift, writing a card, or spending quality time together—apply these practices inwardly,” she explained via email. “Too often, we neglect self-care in comparison to how we treat others. Valentine’s Day serves as a significant opportunity to deliberate on how we can cultivate self-love and self-compassion.”
In order to cultivate a deeper and more genuine self-love, it is beneficial to explore and unravel the layers of social conditioning that have accumulated throughout our lives. These societal influences often hinder our innate ability to simply accept and appreciate ourselves without the burdens of judgment, doubt, and self-consciousness.
Damon L. Jacobs, a family and relationship therapist based in New York, highlights the importance of acknowledging that self-love is inherent from birth. Infants inherently recognize their own fierceness and beauty without seeking external validation.
According to Jacobs, to enhance your self-love, dedicate quality time to yourself engaging in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment, fostering deep reflection to understand who you truly are. The upside is that by channeling attention and energy into self-care, you naturally become more attractive to others.
Practice “unlearning” by consciously highlighting your positive qualities instead of fixating on the negative ones, which often dominate our thoughts. This approach helps rewire your brain to embrace kinder self-perceptions and cultivate genuine self-appreciation.
Furthermore, Jacobs emphasizes the importance of focusing on “evidence-based” perspectives rather than subjective criticism. Let your self-esteem be guided by the tangible evidence of your achievements and experiences, rather than the biased opinions of your inner critic.
He advised, “To experience love, engage in loving actions.” In a world that often seems deficient in love and compassion, this guidance is invaluable.
Read More: One Love: How Kingsley Ben-Adir became Bob Marley on the set of Barbie
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